Like so many people who have shared their stories on this site, I have the dreadful qualities of being intelligent, tall, female, and, ironically, better than average looking. My elementary school years were blissful and uneventful, save for one incident where a guy much older than myself in my neighborhood said to me "you know what boobs are? theyre chunks of fat." and lifted up my shirt to expose my breasts. That humiliating and traumatic event is one of the countless horrid experiences that I've had as a woman since then.

The real trouble started when I moved from the midwest to the east coast at the wonderful pivotal age of 12. Basically to simplify my tale I will say that a core group of about 5 boys from my gifted program began to taunt me and harrass me. My name was "shitface". Going through 2 years of your life being called shitface is bad enough unto itself, however the situation was compounded by the fact that they literally followed me everywhere and mocked my every physical motion for 2 years as well. They also followed me from school and threw eggs at me on halloween. There were also girls who tried to follow me into the bathroom to watch me pee, and who pulled up my dress in the locker room. At eighth grade graduation, when I was asked to stand at honor for being a top ten student, the kids behind me chanted "sit the fuck down, sit the fuck down".

During high school, the original bullies were gone, and for a while I actually thought I had a chance at recovery. But no, my reputation preceded me, and I was still not accepted. At this point I mentally shut down and went into a sort of survivor mode. I tried to go through each and every day expressionless, sitting as still and as quiet as possible. Once a guy came up behind me and bit me on the ass, leaving a huge ring of saliva on my pants. Also boys flashed me and asked me if I liked to suck face. By senior year I was ready to commit suicide, but I didn't want my body to be found. That was my primary deterrent. I literally wanted to vaporize from the planet. I graduated fourth in my class of over 300 with a B+ average with a partial college scholarship. Thanks for reading, sharing, and listening. Peace.

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