I'm 21, and I just graduated from college. This is a monumental event for me, because I didn't think I'd live to see my high school graduation.

I was what people would call a "freak" in high school. I wore a lot of black in an Aeropostale-themed town, listened to Nine Inch Nails, dyed my hair all colors of the rainbow, and had braces and absolutely terrible skin. I was not in the running for winning "Most Well Liked."

My story isn't as terribly sad as the ones I've heard or read. I wasn't beaten every single day, but I was pushed around, kicked, etc. My high school torture was more psychological than anything else. People seemed to take everything out on me verbally. I was screamed at in the hallways. People would come up to me in class, pretend to talk to me, simply so that they could tell me to my face when my defenses were down, how hideously ugly I was.

I became depressed and suicidal. I thought I couldn't turn to my parents because I couldn't explain why I was hated by so many people. I got involved in an abusive relationship, which dragged me down even further. I thought about killing myself constantly.

But, I searched out people my senior year who were on the fringes, too. I fit in slightly with the drama club kids, so I was allowed to be a part of their world, too. I mean, the majority of the school never liked me, but there were some people to sit with in lunch.

I remember Senior Prom. I had somehow made it onto the Prom Court, maybe it was a sort of apology from the class. I didn't win, but I thought the whole night that I would so that they could set up some sort of "Carrie" thing, so the hatred would last to the very end of high school.

I went to college with the same mindset, that everyone I met was going to hate me. But no one knew anyone, or anybody's past, so I was allowed to be myself. Things will get better. I found real friends, and a boyfriend who treats me like gold. I actually got to know my family, and am friends with them all. I have a college degree. I made it.

Of course, it took some work. I saw the school therapist for about a year. I had to work at trusting people, and learning to forgive myself and not hating the face I saw in the mirror. It wasn't easy to work through high school. I am still dealing with the psychological scars--those will never completely heal. But I made it, and that is probably the biggest accomplishment of my life. I hope that this helps someone.


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